Did you ever experience  hostility toward something without having a reason? If yes, you will understand exactly my complicated relation with Paris.

Last year, I visited Paris for the first time and I had a great time with my friends. Everything about this city was stunning and striking. Walking down its streets gave me the feeling of travelling in time, every building has a story and every corner is a part of history.

The Eiffel Tower with its lighting and 2.5 million bolts did not fascinate me. I cannot deny its beauty when lighted at night or its perfection in the daylight with the surrounding fountains and lakes. Regardless the inimitability of this Tower, I cannot see how it defines Paris.
Paris, is the city of history. The huge buildings with their captivated architecture stand there witnessing the flow of time, reflecting the greatness of France through ages and creating a poetic atmosphere that leaves you feeling out of space.  It comes a moment when you cannot but wonder: “Is that real?”

Photo credits: ACE shooting

The tour on the Seine is one of my best souvenirs there. On its banks, Paris looks so natural and pumps with life. Bridges over the Seine create a wider horizon and the sunlight reflection over the water charms you and leaves you out of words.

This city is beyond beautiful, it looks like it came out of dream. Despite that, I could not love it. Despite all my effort to throw away my prejudgments, to forget that I do not like France or the French language, to enjoy to the maximum this mixture of history and modernity, the bitter taste of eeriness never left me.

When I came back from Paris, I tried to understand what I really did not like about this city and I ended up discovering the truth. I do not hate Paris. I am just jealous of it.

I am jealous because I wish Beirut were not that crowded with cars so I could walk freely in the streets….
I am jealous because I wish Beirut did not have power outages so I could always enjoy its beauty….
I am jealous because I wish Lebanese people were calmer so I won’t have to hear people shouting for the stupidest things.
I am jealous because I wish Lebanese people took care of the environment so we would save the green Lebanon.
 I am jealous because I wish Lebanon respected human rights so anyone of us could enjoy his freedom…
I am jealous because my friends went to Paris in order to finish their degrees instead of staying here… I am scared that this city would put them under its spell and they will never come back.

Yes, I despise Paris for all the reasons that make it a better city than Beirut… I despise Paris because every time I remember it I understand how much we are ruining our country… I despise Paris because it reminds me that change comes from revolution, a revolution we are failing to start… I despise Paris for all the reasons that makes it more adorable than Beirut!